An Old Entry, A New Post

I wrote this sometime ago to save for posterity and its been so long since I last posted in this blog that I'd thought I'd just throw this up there. My mom and two youngest sisters, emma and molly, came down to visit at the end of August and this was written moments after I returned from dropping them off at the airport.

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"So my mom, and my two youngest sisters (emma and molly) came down from batavia, ny to tampa on friday and they stayed until this evening (monday). It was such a blast. I made a list of all the things that I thought they might like to do and they just picked stuff out and I took them there. It was just relentless fun and I think everyone was pretty whipped, in a very relaxing, vacation-any kind of way.

We went to Ybor, Channelside, Westfield, Westchase, an amphitheatre, Tampa Theatre (unreal), and tons more. It was a total blast. Today was the only day that nothing much happened. But I can't quite say that nothing much happened because EVERYTHING happened today. At least everything that is important to me happened to today. My mom was absolutely insistent that we go grocery shopping to replace what they had all eaten. I really didnt see what was leading her to such insistence. But we went and my mom spent waaaaaay too much money. It came to over 160, which is a massive amount of food. I mean, I live with three other guys and we all buy most of our own food. I realy didnt want my mom to spend that kind of money. My parents work hard, sent all their kids to private school and it certainly didnt come without alot of sacrifice from them. I'm alot like my dad when it comes to money. It basically comes down to 'dont spend money.' My mom sees things differently. But anyway....

My point was that my mom and sisters took me grocery shopping for food and things I wouldn't buy myself.

Time is winding down..... Everyone is getting quiet......

We get to the airport and absent minded as I am, I miss the turn to get to the terminal and instead head for the short term parking, which of course will be free, so long as I sneak in and out under 15 minutes. I head to some elevators that will take them to the shuttle that will take them to their gate. I park, switch the song in my cd player to a good song (kind of a family tradition..... play good music at goodbye's) which happens to be track two on The Postal Service's "Give Up." It's called Such Great Heights and its the song they play in the trailers for the movie Garden State. It goes 'do-do-do-do-doodoo.' I'm sure you know what I mean.

No one cries. Which is a real accomplishemnt for the girls in my family, especially my mom. She's a cryer. Cries for everything, but in a very loving and genuine way. Anyway, no one is around, because its just a near empty parking garage. This makes for kind of an unusal goodbye. My car doors are open and the music is filling the area around us and echoing in a submersive way. On a side note, I sometimes just decide to act on instict and do things even when I'm not sure why, and then when I am by myself I reflect back and realize maybe why I did something. That is the dynamic that was in play when I put on that song. I really just chose it because I knew everyone liked it and it carried the right mood. That is, one that is mellow but not sad, and reflective but not cynical.

I am driving home by myself, feeling suddenly alone, except for the fiiiiine music that is keeping my thoughts and I company. I realize that the song such great heights is from the movie and the themes of where and more importantly WHAT home is are suddenly brought distinctly into focus. My eye's well up. I begin to see why my mom wanted to go grocery shopping. Any parent can give their kids money. Ya know, heres 200 bucks, go buy yourself something. But that's not worth a penny more than 200 dollars. Its really not even worth that. The act of going to the store and tracking everything down, of suggesting what spices to get, what little tools to get that I don't have but could use...all those still fresh memories culminate in my mind and I realize I am loved. My mom in her matriarchal and selfless way, and my sisters in what can only be described as a "Yeaaaaah, they are Benjamins" way, brought home to me. From over 1200 miles away they culled it and left it here in the form of mountains of tostidos chips and dip, of blueberries, milk, green tea, mac-and-cheese, artichokes, and tons of empty plastic bags. Corny as it may be, there is no doubt in my mind that as I eat that food it will bring nourishment beyond simple physical sustenance. And I am all written out. Its definetly dinner time."

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Thanks for reading.