Apparently I had saved an old fortune cookie paper in the glove compartment of my car and when searching for the lis/reg/ins it had fallen out. It reads, and I quote:
"Your careful planning will bring rich rewards."
I remember saving it from a fortune cookie I ate before leaving for Tampa originally (8/18/03...remember Chelsea?), so it must have been eaten in the summer of 2003. I had done alot of planning, and I would say that it was as careful as it could be all things considered.
So here I am 18 months later, sitting still, trying to figure out exactly what those riches are. Alot has happened. I feel more than 18 months older. It would seem those riches are decidely not monetary in nature and I'm surprised by just how little that matters to me, especially recalling my state of mind for many of those 18 months. And the riches are not necessarily lessons learned because I feel like I still make many of the same mistakes. So here is whats left:
I'm closer to knowing what I want, and I see how to get there. And much of this 'knowing' comes from having experienced directly much of what I now know I dont want.
-I don't want to fix computers for a living.
-I don't want to own a car because as much fun as it is to zip around with a stickshift and a car I genuinely enjoy, I cant's stand sitting in traffic. Caged and too safe.
-I don't want stuff. There are things that I do want, and though they cost money, their value to me is outside the paradigm of wealth. Music, books, and the economic means to enjoy them in a casually paced and guilt free way are good examples of this.
This leaves a pretty clear list of what I do want.
-I want to spend more time, ALOT more time, making things. I've been writing alot more. And I really like editing video footage.
-I want incorporate public transit into my life in a fundamental way. This requires a city with good public transit and a centralized commercial center. Portland, OR is high on the list.
-I want to be able to afford CD's when an artist grabs me, books when I can't put them down (but have to because borders frowns upon stealing), and unique places to enjoy them, like coffeeshops.
The path away from what I don't want to what I do want is pretty clear. It involves keeping my camera close at hand, finishing school, selling what I dont need or use, and keeping an open mind.
But what it really involves is something even more elemental, even more basic. So here is the end of this three part series. Thanks Tom Wolfe.
"Because the source of his strength had always been his money, his reputation, his success in worldly affairs. But the one true source of his strength was own might, his own will, to get or to avoid, his own divine spark of reason, which enabled him to judge which things were in his power and which were beyond it."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment