Potential.

I wrote an email recently and I'm pasting the bulk of it here, only slightly modified to maintain a conistent context. Its about why I moved to Tampa.

"This evening I was driving back from channelside and Im driving through downtown and I just love the feeling of all those skyskapers. Then I head north on florida ave and pass all the hummers waiting in a long line to get on the highway so they can sit in the rush hour traffic jam. Im moving pretty good up florida ave and as soon as i drive under the overpass the world just shifts, from one kind of magic to another. Where before i was zipping by all these expensive cars among towering skyscrapers I am now looking in the eye all these poor people sitting on the sidewalk with nothin to do and nowhere to go. And there are all these boarded up buildings begging to be renovated and reopened. The buildings all sit only a sidewalk away from the road instead of the typical parking lot away. All these former shops, now empty, all these people, and hardly any cars. I couldn't help but slow way down and take my time. I imagined all those other people on the highway, caged, with nothing to look at but someone else a cage away. And they are barely moving and they are probably anxious to get home. And here i am, the whole road, nearly to myself, and I am slowing down to soak in what can only be called the real world. There was nothig fake or presumptous or manufactured about the place, it just was what it was. As i continued the drive the scenery slowly shifted to bigger and bigger parking lots, fewer and fewer pedestrians and more and more cars. This is when i remembered why i moved to tampa in the first place. It all comes down to one simple word: potential. I think back to just before i moved here. There wasnt a single place in the world i couldnt go. Making that first decision and moving to tampa made the potential narrow just alittle. And by choosing this and choosing that the potential of my life decreased little by little until i was living a life of circustance. I work to pay the bills, to eat, instead of working because i enjoy it. I get gas to go from A to B instead of going joy riding and just exploring a strange new place. In so many ways my life in tampa is just like a drive from one end of Florida Ave to the other. Tons of wide open potential narrowing, narrowing, narrowing to a single choice. And suddenly without even realizing it, that first choice has evolved into a circumstance, one that must be dealt with.

It was an amazing feeling. I think its why portland holds so much a lure for me. Its like getting all that potential back for another round and then getting to see what circmstance it leads to. There isnt anything wrong with circumstance, but seeing it as something
your stuck with is a mistake. The environment can always be shaken up, or turned around. And I dont mean there isnt anything left in tampa for me. There is still lots to be explored for sure. I got lost trying to get to blackhawk cafe without using the highway and I came on this awesome view. A field where a bunch of football players were huddled in the center at the end of a practice with the downtown skyline as the backdrop. It was late, like 930 or 10 and i could see all their breath floating up out of the huddle. So cool."

So there's that.